Tuesday, January 25, 2011

[[ MOMMYING ]]

Mamang and Papang were away for three days. My cousin stabbed my other cousin so my oldies have to go all the way to Butuan City to serve as arbitrators. Those two boys are not diractly connected if not for my mom who is their common aunt. Our relatives in Butuan and Ramain requested the presence of my mom to keep hostilities at bay. If my mom didn't go, they may have killed each other by now. Our men are like characters straight out of action movies. They have balls for vendetta. Who needs policemen when your balls are way bigger than theirs?

So three days sans a mommy in the house… Being the eldest girl in the family, I had to assume the role of my mommy dearest. I thought, no sweat.

'Twas fun, like the feeling one gets from bahay-bahayan. I was giddy the first time, you know, planning the meals, making sure the ref is well-stocked, the kids drink milk before sleep, no dust under the rug, the boys don't stay up too late at night playing Final Fantasy in the PS2, the laundry is done, the sink is spotless, the uniforms are well-ironed, the home works are finished before the little girls watch Disney Channel. The to-do list went on and on until I realized, this is beyond my powers. Two years of existence haven't prepared me for mommying.

Mom was 21 when she got married and had my eldest bro. I am now a year older and my mommying skills is so far behind hers. If I had a baby now, I would have no idea how to raise him up. Mom isn't exactly perfect. For too many times, I blame her for my short-comings. I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have. I thought to myself, if she raised me up a little better than how she did, I would be a so much better person. But mom isn't a robot. Eight kids to feed, clothe, educate, I now realize I have to commend her for everything. She is a super in her right. She did her best. I've always wanted distance from mom, just to experience a little more independence. But after three days without her, I have to admit to myself that I did miss her. I'm so glad that she is so back. I can't play her role as well as she can. And even if she thinks that I have come so far from what she have achieved in life, for she is your typical stay-at-home-mama, I think that she is so good that I will have to crawl and claw my way to achieve her wisdom and mommying skills.


I don't tell you as much as I should, but really, I love you Mamang. No one can replace you.

3 comments:

Kraehe said...

I assume lots of mommying up until now being the eldest. My mom is in the province and I am/feel responsible for the well-being of my siblings here in Manila. Its hard, especially if they are 2-3 years gap from your age. Matigas na ang ulo T_T

ayeesha MD said...

i feel u. 3 days and i'm waving the white flag already.

ishashime said...

i know what you mean. i had to babysit my brother for a whole summer here in manila 3 years ago when we were enrolled in summer school for advanced lessons, which i hated (i was only 14 then and he was 10). our parents were back in the middle east where they worked and it was really hard trying to get my brother to listen and to have him do what i told him to. he was a handful and i really can't believe my mom (and dad) managed to raise us both. haha

this was a sweet post. i liked it. :)