Friday, June 24, 2011

[[ FRAGILE 2 ]]

Has it been five months? February, March, April, May, June... five months indeed.

Lying on my bed, I am feeling blank for a while. The radio plays softly in the background. Lying cozily under my fluffy blanket, euphoria starts to seep down my stomach. If I were a cat, I would be purring.

"...and in this moment I am happy. Happy. I.... wish you were here..." the radio played that song.

I remembered a few incident. We did see each other a few times, exchanged a few words, small talk they say. I was okay with that. I mean, I should have moved on, right? I should be cool about it like an adult and not some high school crushing on someone for years. I remember that I was able to talk to you like a normal person would to old friends. I was able to look at your eyes, although I can't stand looking at them for long, I had to look away.

I closed my eyes and felt this empty space somewhere in my chest cavity, like a hunger, painful and needing. This moment, I can't lie anymore, not to myself at least. I made the world believe that I can handle a heartbreak like a Hollywood star, crying now, partying later. But what happens when the party is over, when the strobe lights were turned off, when the psychedelic music stopped, when intoxication wears off? This is what happens: your deepest feelings confronts you. Right then and there, I cried silently. Ashamed of my weakness and my fragile heart, I covered my face with the blanket as if the world can see me weep.

Silently, tears just fell. Silently, my hunger burns inside. Silently, I whispered to the wind what I wanted to tell you--love me, love me again. Silently, I told myself, let it be, you know you lost your dear one.

I told myself, learn how to live with it. Learn how to live with that need that will never be satisfied. Learn how to live with that fragile heart that breaks with every step that he makes away from you.

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This is a sequel to the short story I wrote: Fragile. I thought, why not make a sequel? Writing a novel has always been on my to-do list before I die. Maybe I can practice now. By the way, next week, I will have a blogger friend--Denase--who will do a guest post here. I will be doing the same thing on his blog. Watch out!

2 comments:

DENASE said...

Emo.

sam in_chik said...

dear.. super ako naka-relate. grabe. pilit iniiwasan. pilit kinakalimutan pero eto pa din. makita lang, wala na. two thumbs up :D