Saturday, March 12, 2016

5 Ways I Healed a Broken Heart

It is not a secret that I went through a major crisis in my life in the second quarter of last year. I'd rather keep the details under wraps because airing dirty laundry is not my cup of tea. Instead, I am sharing pieces of advice for all the lovely ones out there who are asking how did I manage it. What is the secret recipe to moving on?

(I have received messages from friends, asking for advice. They say just a few months from the heartbreak, I have bounced back looking very happy, really happy not pretend happy. So I thought I might as well write down what I usually tell them as a response.)

1. Know when the battle is over.



At a certain point, a relationship has broken down enough that it is beyond repair. Although you are blinded by love, strive to see past you and him and see the relationship under a more objective light. What are the signs that it is beyond hope? Ask yourself these questions: Do we still trust each other? Did he choose someone or something (career, hobby, vices, etc.) over me? Do my friends and family support us, or at least like him? Am I willing to settle for this setup for the rest of my life? If you answered no to any of the questions above, chances are you two are heading to the ruins. Recognize the symptoms. Know that it is time to stop fighting for the relationship. It is time to ease your grip and let it go.

2. Mourn.

A lot of people will advice that the best way is to keep busy and keep your mind off the pain. But trust me on this: please take time to mourn. Feel the pain. Unless you go through this step, you will end up with sorrowful feelings towards the person even after several years. Cry it out. Listen to heartbreak songs. Stay in bed for days. It may take a while, but after all the pent-up emotions have been released, it is time to start the healing process.

3. Rediscover yourself.

Having a significant other can mean being heavily influenced by another human being. Some women actually lose their personality over the course of a relationship as they have deeply integrated their habits and interests with their partners. After losing him, you will feel that a big chunk of you has been amputated from your own flesh. It is normal. This is the time to rediscover yourself. Remember who you were before him. Did you always wanted to paint? Were you always dreaming of spending a weekend alone overseas? What else do you want to achieve right now and in the next 3 years?

4. Embrace the possibilities. Work. Achieve.

After spending weeks sitting around brooding, it is time to get that ass off the bed and get out the door. Slowly build positive habits that can up your game. Take care of yourself. Magpaganda ka teh! Put on your gym clothes and sweat all your frustrations off. Reconnect with your friends. In trying times, friends are your best support group. Bond with your family. Love from friends and family works wonders. Work harder. Or find a job you have always dreamed of. Every little achievement will mend your broken self-esteem. So load up on achieving you goals, one step at a time. Learn to do things for you own happiness.

5. Above all, leave everything to Allah SWT.

Nothing is more comforting than the knowledge that everything has already been ordained for you. Be happy in whatever circumstance your in because your Lord knows what is best for you, including this heartbreak. Like a pencil, you need to undergo sharpening to reveal your truest potential. Trust Him. Cry it all out to Him. He will put back all the pieces together even if you are shattered to a thousand pieces. He is the Most Gracious, Most Merciful. Alhamdulillah!

Just let it go. The end of a relationship is not the end of you. There are more wonderful things that will happen in your life, In Shaa Allah. You will be alright.

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